I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize