her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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