That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
