oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
