Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize