Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Farmville is her only friend.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
