Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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