Michael Bay diarrhea
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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