you have to choose: penises or morals?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Randomize
