doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
