Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
