Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize