Are we in a gay sports bar?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Randomize
