So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
