My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize