Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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