A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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