hotel room ftw
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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