You just made me feel so damn special
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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