We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
