do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
