my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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