All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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