I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Randomize
