Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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