i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize