what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize