and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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