i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
