I feel like I'm in dance class right now
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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