He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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