none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
