Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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