I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize