Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
