hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
