is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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