Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
