Just cropdusted the office
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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