Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
