Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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