i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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