you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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