I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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