Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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