who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
