couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
