Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
