It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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