I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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