we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
