dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
