May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize