I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
