I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
