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Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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