I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
