Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she told me i tasted like america
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize