yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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