dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
