Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
