we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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