So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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