This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
