the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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