whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
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