You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize