Who did Billy Mays play for?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
