You can't special order awesome
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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