I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
