I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
