Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Dear god my vagina.
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