I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
