I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
