____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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